If you do not know Kuya Clem (as he is popularly called in his radio program "Heartline" on DZAS 702), he is a pastor and marriage counsellor. Kuya Clem has helped me twice in the past through his on-air counselling, the first was when I was 21 and the second was when I was 24. His advice helped me get back on the right track on both instances.
I had a counselling session with Kuya Clem in his office on February 1, 2012 (I am now 45). I finally got to meet him in person through a friend who set my appointment with him. As I have stated above, one of his recommendations was that I go through the therapy of reparenting my inner child.
Weeks before the workshop (which was scheduled February 17 to 19), I was feeling apprehensive because I did not know what I was getting myself into, plus having the fear that after exerting all effort, everything would stay the way they've been or get worse, like something that happened to me in the past. A friend told me to go through it and find out if it's effective or not rather than spending my whole life wondering and having the what ifs, so I decided to enroll, though half-heartedly.
On the first day in the seminar room, I was made at ease because there is an agreement of confidentiality, and no one is to judge anyone. That is a place where I can feel safe, and everyone can be relied on to support me in my process. I knew right there and then that this was meant for me.
During the introduction, Neh gave 30 seconds for anyone who would want to back out from the program with a full refund. During that 30 seconds, I thought that if I walked out of that room at that moment, I had no place to go because I was sure deep in my heart that this weekend was appointed for me. I was at the right place at the right time. God appointed this for me. This is later confirmed because even my transportation was provided. A participant with a car lives near my place which is en route from his house to the workshop site, which is not an easy access for me if I were commuting. I am truly grateful to them and for them.
You may be curious about what happened in my workshop.
This is a quote from one of my posts, The Survivor, which I wrote on January 24, way before I knew of RCW's program.
"kung mayroong time machine ay pupuntahan ko ang sarili ko noong ako ay teenager pa at kakaibiganin ko siya. Ipaparamdam ko sa kanya na naiintindihan ko siya. At hindi ko siya huhusgahan. At pwede niyang sabihin sa akin lahat ng gusto niyang sabihin. Ipaaalam ko sa kanya na meron siyang pwedeng sandalan sa oras ng kanyang pangangailangan. Meron siyang pwedeng kausap sa oras na kailangan niya ng kausap. Bibigyan ko siya ng sense of belonging. At tuturuan ko siyang mag-basketball. At sasabihin ko sa kanya kung ano ang pwedeng kurso para sa kanya."
Every time I think about this, it gives me goosebumps, because this is exactly what happened to me, and more.
I was able to connect with the infant me, the toddler me, the play age me, and the adolescent me. I was able to assure them that I will take care of them. They don't have to be afraid anymore. They don't have to hurt anymore. I understand them and what they are going through, and they can depend on me because I will be strong for them. I told them that despite what happened to them, everything will be ok. Everything will turn out fine. I will give them the love and the care they need. And that I love them and accept them as they are.
My eyes were opened, and I begin to understand.
I was able to endure my ordeal and stay sane as a battered son foremostly by the grace of God. And I held on because of my loved ones, my siblings. I used to say that I survived because I was strong. But during the end of the last activities, I realized that I became strong because of my friends. God has blessed me with friends who helped me be strong. In my journey, friends have come and gone, and I meet new friends along the way. Some may be for keeps and some may be just passing by, but each is a blessing and a gift from God.
