Sunday, February 19, 2012

Reparenting the Child Within - My Journey

I recently attended a workshop called RCW1 (Reparenting the Child Within) conducted by Reintegration for Care and Wholeness Foundation, Inc. by the recommendation of Pastor Clem Guillermo.  RCWFI was founded by Harriet H. Hormillosa, or Neh (short for Nene), an ex-nun and a graceful woman who hails from Silay City in Negros Occidental.  Kuya Clem and Neh both claimed they have been friends from way back, and I can feel the faith and trust of both in each other.  According to Neh, they were always referred to as the "odd couple" because one is a pastor and the other a nun.  The only difference is one is married and the other, single.

If you do not know Kuya Clem (as he is popularly called in his radio program "Heartline" on DZAS 702), he is a pastor and marriage counsellor.  Kuya Clem has helped me twice in the past through his on-air counselling, the first was when I was 21 and the second was when I was 24.  His advice helped me get back on the right track on both instances.

I had a counselling session with Kuya Clem in his office on February 1, 2012 (I am now 45).  I finally got to meet him in person through a friend who set my appointment with him.  As I have stated above, one of his recommendations was that I go through the therapy of reparenting my inner child. 

Weeks before the workshop (which was scheduled February 17 to 19), I was feeling apprehensive because I did not know what I was getting myself into, plus having the fear that after exerting all effort, everything would stay the way they've been or get worse, like something that happened to me in the past. A friend told me to go through it and find out if it's effective or not rather than spending my whole life wondering and having the what ifs, so I decided to enroll, though half-heartedly.

On the first day in the seminar room, I was made at ease because there is an agreement of confidentiality, and no one is to judge anyone.  That is a place where I can feel safe, and everyone can be relied on to support me in my process.  I knew right there and then that this was meant for me.

During the introduction, Neh gave 30 seconds for anyone who would want to back out from the program with a full refund.  During that 30 seconds, I thought that if I walked out of that room at that moment, I had no place to go because I was sure deep in my heart that this weekend was appointed for me.  I was at the right place at the right time.  God appointed this for me.  This is later confirmed because even my transportation was provided.  A participant with a car lives near my place which is en route from his house to the workshop site, which is not an easy access for me if I were commuting.  I am truly grateful to them and for them.

You may be curious about what happened in my workshop.

This is a quote from one of my posts, The Survivor, which I wrote on January 24, way before I knew of RCW's program.

"kung mayroong time machine ay pupuntahan ko ang sarili ko noong ako ay teenager pa at kakaibiganin ko siya.  Ipaparamdam ko sa kanya na naiintindihan ko siya.  At hindi ko siya huhusgahan.  At pwede niyang sabihin sa akin lahat ng gusto niyang sabihin.  Ipaaalam ko sa kanya na meron siyang pwedeng sandalan sa oras ng kanyang pangangailangan.  Meron siyang pwedeng kausap sa oras na kailangan niya ng kausap.  Bibigyan ko siya ng sense of belonging.  At tuturuan ko siyang mag-basketball.  At sasabihin ko sa kanya kung ano ang pwedeng kurso para sa kanya."

Every time I think about this, it gives me goosebumps, because this is exactly what happened to me, and more.   

I was able to connect with the infant me, the toddler me, the play age me, and the adolescent me.  I was able to assure them that I will take care of them.  They don't have to be afraid anymore.  They don't have to hurt anymore.  I understand them and what they are going through, and they can depend on me because I will be strong for them.  I told them that despite what happened to them, everything will be ok.  Everything will turn out fine.  I will give them the love and the care they need.  And that I love them and accept them as they are.

My eyes were opened, and I begin to understand.

I was able to endure my ordeal and stay sane as a battered son foremostly by the grace of God.  And I held on because of my loved ones, my siblings.  I used to say that I survived because I was strong.  But during the end of the last activities, I realized that I became strong because of my friends.  God has blessed me with friends who helped me be strong.  In my journey, friends have come and gone, and I meet new friends along the way.  Some may be for keeps and some may be just passing by, but each is a blessing and a gift from God.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Hidden Meaning of My Name

Gaya-gaya lang itong post na ito.  Ginaya ko yung post ni Mokong.  Madalian lang kasi kailangan ko nang umalis para sa isang event na kinatatakutan ko pero kailangan kong gawin.  Update ko kayo sa susunod kung ano iyon.

Laurence Lee

Your natural charisma and charm makes you an influential figure able to inspire confidence in others. Material abundance and emotional contentment are seemingly drawn to you and satisfy your dreams of success. However, being humanitarian, you find that applying your talents and creative prowess to a worthwhile purpose is far more satisfying than material gain. Your courage, adaptability, and determination overcome any obstacles. 


Laurel - crowned one"Latin"
Honest, dependable, and practical, you tend to have a fairly conservative but determined approach to life. Your intelligence and wisdom means that you are sought out for guidance and advice. Gifted in communication, you are philosophical and intuitive and are usually a traveller both mentally and physically. People respect you for your patience, discretion, and integrity. 


You are fair-minded, wise, and peace-loving and are always willing to help others. Your mental capabilities and creativity are well-marked with wonderful and original ideas which you need to bring to tangible fruition. Perceptive and understanding of others, your positive approach to life and influential nature means that you have leadership qualities. There is great potential for success both financially and spiritually. 


You are idealistic and intelligent and very much an all-or-nothing person. Tending to experience constant change in life security is found in your real and abiding values. With great organizational ability, industry and creative prowess, you love to build tangible results and are especially gifted at transforming lost causes. Your intelligence is marked with keen perception and analytical ability. A secure home life and relationship are important for you.

You can find your name's hidden meanings here.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Valentine's Day - What's the Big Deal?

Nalalapit na ang Araw ng mga Puso.  Nagpaplano na ang karamihan, lalung-lalo na yung mga may partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, o lover kahit pa ano ang kani-kanilang sexual orientation.  Karamihan naman sa mga walang partner ay nai-stress, nagse-self-pity, o nagbi-bitter-bitteran, dahil lalo lamang nila nararamdamang sila ay nag-iisa at walang nagmamahal sa kanila.  Malalamig ang Valentine's kumbaga.

Tama, masarap mag-celebrate ng Valentine's Day kung ikaw ay may partner.  Kung ikaw ay may minamahal at may nagmamahal din sa iyo.  Masarap magplano, mag-ipon ng panggastos sa date, mag-isip ng kung anong ireregalo sa minamahal sa araw na ito.  Masarap din mag-expect o umasa kung ano ang matatanggap mula sa kanya.

Pero para sa isang single na katulad ko, what's the big deal if I don't have a partner?  Kailangan ko ba'ng ma-stress dahil wala akong date pagsapit ng February 14?  Hindi porke't ang Valentine's Day ay Araw ng mga Puso ay kailangan nang ma-despair ng isang solterong tulad ko.  Kapag sumasapit ang Valentine's Day at nakikita ko ang mga magsing-irog na masasaya ay masaya rin ako para sa kanila.  Pero hindi ibig sabihin noon na malungkot ako para sa sarili ko.  Bagkus ay lalo lamang akong natutuwa dahil hindi ako malungkot kahit wala akong partner.  Kung gusto kong i-celebrate ang araw na ito ay pwede kong i-celebrate kasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay.  O kaya ay i-celebrate ko'ng mag-isa dahil mahal ko ang sarili ko.

Kapag nakikita ko ang mga mag-sweetheart na nagde-date o nagpapalitan ng regalo sa Valentine's Day, at hindi ako naiinggit o nalulungkot, lalo ko lang nare-reinforce sa sarili ko na ok ako, dahil lalo akong naniniwala na hindi ko kailangan ng partner para maramdaman kong kumpleto ako kapag Valentine's Day o kahit pa anong araw ng taon.  My happiness does not depend on someone else.  Happiness is a choice.  And I choose to be happy.